i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
