i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
