The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
