I'm gonna have a badass scar
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
