So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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