Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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