somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
