I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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