I can text with my tongue
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
