I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize