I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Yo dont text me then not text me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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