End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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