glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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