and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
