Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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