i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
