My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
