haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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