I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
