I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
