What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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