But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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