Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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