They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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