she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
