Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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