I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
