Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
