Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
