didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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