I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
