what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
