can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
