Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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