That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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