we're blogging at a bar
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
