I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
