Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize