I want to make a zoo with you.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just invented taco cereal.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
