Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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