also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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