Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
