he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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