Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
