Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
