I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
