This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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