we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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