I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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