im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
