Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
