bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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