Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i came on her dog
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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