Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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