READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
