I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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