Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
