I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
