we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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