See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I am naked and annoyed.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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