I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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