in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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