omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
